Once Upon a Loony
by MileyLoonaticsFan96
Summary: The Loonakids dream of themselves in fairy tales.
1. Jack and the Beanstalk: Jack

Once Upon a Loony

OK, this is taking place in the Loonakids series, but it is not onnected to the story. I just thought I'd do an off-story tale to distract you while I'm working on Mars in March. Plus, the Suite Life on Deck special "Once Upon a Suite Life" kind of inspired me.

Chapter 1: Jack and the Beanstalk

Jack Duck lie in bed asleep. He was dreaming (obviously). He pictured himself in a fairy tale:

_Jack was in a field by the cottage, using his telekinetic power to hoe the crops._

_"Jack!"_

_Jack dropped his powers and pick up the hoe. "Yes, Mom?"_

_Wendy came up to him. "2 things: 1, I could sense you using your powers. Cut the act and knock it off." Jack dropped the hoe. Wendy pointed her finger at the hoe and it picked itself up and started to work. "If you're going to cheat, at least use your magic so that you can practice the power you're not trained at. 2, I'm giving you an hour off." Jack cheered. "So that you can go to the market and sell the cow."_

_Jack moaned. "Why can't you send someone else? I hate going down to the market!"_

_"I let you keep 10% of the profits..."_

_"Deal."_

_Wendy whistled. The cow _(Slam in a cow costume)_ came trotting over to them with a leash around his neck. "Good luck."_

_Jack grabbed the leash and walked off. When he reached the gate, the leash started pulling on him and he fell back into the field. He turned his head so that he could see (upside-down) the cow the huddled in the corner by the cottage, trying to hide. "Come on, buddy. The sooner I sell you, the sooner...I have to go back to work. On second thought, just lie there!"_

_The cow frowned at him, walked over to him and picked up the enchanted hoe and started beating him with it._

_"Maybe I should have given you a helmet before I enchanted the hoe," Wendy pondered._

_"You think?" Jack called after her as the cow continued to beat with the hoe and chase him out of the field._

_* * *_

_Jack walked down the road to the market. One reason he hated doing this so much: it took FOREVER to go down one of the 3 roads leading to it. "You know, you better make enough money to be worth my feet hurting so much."_

_A nearby bush started rustling and Jack could hear a voice whispering, "Psst!"_

_Jack looked around to see where the voice had come from. He shrugged and then kept walking. The leash tugged again after a few steps. "Oh, for crying out loud! It's times like this I wish my telekinetic power was as powerful as mom's so that I could lift animals and people."_

_Just then, Danger Duck appeared in front of him. "Hey, I was in the neighborhood and..." The 2 ducks then noticed how much they looked alike and started looking each other up and down. After a couple seconds they shook their heads. "Anyway, do you want to buy some beans?" He opened the left side of his coat to reveal a bunch of--_

_"Uh, those are watches," Jack corrected._

_"Huh?" Duck looked down at his coat. "Whoops, wrong side." He opened the right side of his coat to show hundreds of green beans, string beans, lima beans, black beans, and pinto beans._

_"Beans?" Jack asked, "I rather keep going down this road for the next million miles just to get to the market."_

_Duck picked up a few of brown beans. "You do realize that these 5 are magic beans."_

_"Listen, buddy," said Jack, "I know magic and that is NOT magic that's emanating from those beans. Come on, Moo Boy." He started walking and the leash tugged again, making him fall back and slam into a tree and fall on the ground. "I take them."_

_* * *_

_"You traded our cow for these beans?" Wendy asked, irritated. She stomped on her son's foot._

_"OW!" Jack moaned, "I guess I should have gotten some steel-toe boots instead! And maybe some shin-guards."_

_Wendy scoffed. "I can't believe that you, being a Warlock, were dumb enough to fall for this and not hex the guy! Magic beans...yeah right." You threw the beans over her shoulder and the ground started rumbling. When the shaking stopped, a beanstalk, stretching as high as the clouds, had grown behind her. "Wow." She went over and started harvesting some beans from the stalk. "I guess we can have some lima beans with our corn for a while."_

_"We're going to be eating succotash?" Jack asked, disgusted, "I thought that was for putty tats! I'm climbing up this thing. Maybe there's a Candy-Land on top." He started to climb up the beanstalk._

_"Uh, are you looking for candy or a board game?" Wendy asked. She shrugged when she didn't get an answer and starting nibbling at the beans like a starving rabbit. After her tongue touched the lima bean, she spit it out. "Suffering succotash!"_

_* * *_

_Jack came into a cottage. This one was full of treasures. "Whoa. And I thought the 3 little pigs were living high on the hog!" He started laughing._

_"Did-somebody-say-'honk'? HONK!" A golden goose _(Rev with golden feathers)_ waddled over to him._

_"Wow, a golden goose," Jack contemplated, "Do you want to come back to my place for dinner?"_

_"Sure-what're-we-having?"_

_"What?"_

_"I said...'sure-what're-we-having?'"_

_"I can't...understand what..."_

_The goose sighed. "Sure...what...are...we-having?"_

_"Oh, right. I was thinking a nice stuffed goose."_

_"Sure-that-so...wait a minute..." The goose ran off with incredible speed...right into the wall. He straightened himself out. "HONK!" A solid gold egg landed on the ground next to him._

_Jack went over to the egg and used his power to hover it in mid-air and turn it so that the engraving "25-karat" was visible to him. "25-KARAT?! I'm rich! I'm rich!" He reached out for it._

_"I wouldn't do that if I were you." A harp (Robert with strings on his wings) walked over to them._

_"What are you supposed to be?" asked Jack, pushing up the harp-bird's wings to show the strings, "Batman with shredded wings?" He strummed the strings and the harp-bird started giggling._

_"Stop it, that tickles!" the harp-bird scolded, "I'm a harp...bird." Jack plucked one of the strings again and a sound came forth that was so hollow it sounded like the string he had plucked was going to break. "Stop playing me!"_

_The ground started shaking again, knocking the 3 birds back and forth. "Fee-fi-fo-fum! I smell the bones of a nice, ripe duck!"_

_"Oh no, I'm meat, too!" Jack whined in fear, "Hide me! Hide me!"_

_"Sure-get-behind-me," the goose said, lifting up a wing for Jack to hide behind, which the teenage duck immediately did._

_A giant _(picture whichever one you want, I'll think of Tech)_ appeared through the door. "Where's the thief I smelled?"_

_"Oh-he's-right-here," the goose said, lifting his wing again and revealing the cowering mallard._

_"What did I say about hiding me?" asked Jack, annoyed._

_"Oh-right-sorry," the goose said, letting his wing down again._

_"Too late, I already saw him," said the giant. Jack came out from behind the goose, shaking...a lot. "Stop shaking!" Jack closed his eyes and stunned himself. "If you don't get out of here in 10 seconds, I'm going to smash you to bits!"_

_"I'm OK with that," said the harp-bird._

_"With my harp!" the giant added._

_"That I'm not OK with!"_

_* * *_

_Jack and the harp-bird came down the beanstalk to Wendy._

_"Mom!" Jack warned, "There's a giant headed for us! Do one of your witch-y protection spells!"_

_"Yeah right, Jack," Wendy said, "First the beans, now this. Everyone knows that giants don't exist. Leprechauns, maybe, unicorns, sure. But there is absolutely, positively, no such thing as--"_

_The giant showed up at the top of the beanstalk. "Fee-fi-fo-fum! I'm going to eat you all up, yum!"_

_"GIANT!" Wendy shouted, "You led a giant to our farm?!" She kicked Jack in the shin, just above the foot she had stomped on earlier._

_"OW!" Jack whined, grabbing his leg, "Stop kicking me!"_

_"I'm not kicking you, this is all a dream! Wake up!" She kicked him again...and again...and again... "Wake up!"_

"Wake up, Jack!"

"Giant!" Jack sat up in bed.

"Jack, there's no giant. You've been mumbling about that for the past 5 minutes that I've been trying to wake you up!" Wendy Duck, Jack's mother, was sitting in front of him. "Now get up!"


	2. Hansel & Gretel: Ryan and Kelly

Chapter 2: Hansel & Gretel

Kelly Coyote lie in bed, sleeping peacefully. Her brother, Ryan, was in the bed next to hers, dreaming as well. In fact, they were sharing a dream:

_Hansel _(Ryan)_ and Gretel _(Kelly)_ walked through the forest behind their father _(Tech, of course)_. Every time their dad looked away, they would break off a piece from the loaf of bread they were carrying and toss it behind them so that they would have a trail to follow back in case they got lost._

_"Hey, look!" their dad said, "The emperor has no clothes!" He pointed in the direction their trail had been facing. When the kids looked away, he ran off. "So long, suckers!"_

_Hansel and Gretel turned back to the place their dad had been._

_"Dad?" Hansel called. He looked around. No sign of him. "Great. Now we're stuck in the forest, our dad, our only guide, is gone, and I'm pretty certain we might be lost."_

_"Which is exactly why I wanted us to plant that trail," Gretel gloated._

_"You mean the trail those birds are eating?" asked Hansel._

_"WHAT?!" Gretel turned around. Sure enough there were 2 birds _(Duck and Jack or just normal robins)_ picking up the bread crumbs and eating them. "HEY! Get away from those! Shoo! Bad birdies!"_

_The 2 birds looked at each other, shrugged and started attacking her._

_Gretel shrieked. "I'm a psychic and I didn't see this coming! Get them off me, Hansel!"_

_"I can only make myself stronger and manipulate electronic objects, you know that!"_

_"What electronic objects? We're in the middle of the woods!"_

_"That's what I'm saying!" Hansel groaned. "Get away you stupid birds!" When the birds came after him, he stood perfectly still and they rebounded off of him and went away in pain._

_"Thanks, Hansel," Gretel said, "But now I'm hungry."_

_"Hey, same here," Hansel complained, "Why don't we go ask someone where we can get some food."_

_"Oh, there's a house over there," Gretel pointed out, running over to the gingerbread house. She knocked on the door, not noticing that it was made of candy. "Hello?" She turned to her brother. "Maybe no one's home."_

_"Well, let's go in and see," suggested Hansel._

_"We can't just break into someone's home and--" Hansel opened the door without having to break in. "Oh, OK." Gretel walked in and Hansel followed closely after her. Gretel looked around. "No one's here after all."_

_"No, but the place is made of candy!" Hansel pointed out, noticing the candy canes and lollipops lining the fireplace. He ran over to the fireplace and picked up one of them._

_"You can't just start eating someone's house without permission!" Gretel scolded, "Wow, never thought I'd say that."_

_"Oh, come on, it's not poison," said Hansel, "It's not like you've never snuck a cookie from the jar in the kitchen."_

_"Well, yeah, but I would never indulge in such--oh, is that chocolate?" She dove for the chocolate bars and Hershey's Kisses on the table next to them, opened the wrappers, and started digging in. Hansel gave her an "I told you so" look. "No, I'm still suspicious."_

_Just then, a Witch _(Sophie, I guess)_ walked in the door. "Hello, children."_

_Gretel shrieked again and dropped the chocolate she was carrying onto the floor. "Witch!"_

_"Oh, don't be so judgmental," said the Witch, "You'd get the same if you walked around in an ankle-length black dress with a pointy hat and could...do this." She pointed at the desk next to her and it turned into a giant marshmallow peep and then into 20-pound Hershey's Kiss. Gretel almost dove for it, but thought better of it. "Anyway, don't you kids have homes you should be in? What're you doing out in the middle of the woods?"_

_"Well, we got lost and--"_

_"In that, case, stay and eat whatever you want," the Witch interrupted Hansel._

_"Sweet!"_

_Gretel shot her brother a look and then turned back to the Witch. "Excuse me and my brother for a second." She scooted Hansel over to the corner. "I'm not sure we can trust this woman, Hansel," Gretel whispered, "What if she hexes us or something?"_

_"Oh please," said Hansel, "What's the worst that could come from eating a little junk food?"_

_"1, it's junk!"_

_"Says the girl who was stuffing her face in the chocolate fountain for 2 hours at our parents' last Christmas party!"_

_Gretel gasped. "Well...you could get diabetes and not be able to eat any junk food if you eat too much sugar now."_

_"The lady's a Witch. She could probably prevent that."_

_"Well, how do we know that she can't or that she can but won't or that--?"_

_"Gretel!" Hansel practically yelled, "2 days and we go somewhere else."_

_Gretel turned around to face the Witch, who waved at her. She turned back to Hansel, who was looking at her with puppy dog eyes. "Oh, don't give me that look! I invented that look! I'm a coyote, too, I should be immune to that look!" Hansel's eyes just widened. "OK, fine!"_

_"Thanks!" Hansel said, "Now I think I'll go eat that 'desk'." He went over to the giant Hershey's kiss and started to devour it, carnivorously, like any other coyote would._

_* * *_

_About 3 hours later, the "desk" was half gone. Hansel was still devouring it, believe it or not._

_Gretel walked in. "The Witch walked out a few minutes ago. Are we really staying or..." She noticed what her brother was doing. "Hansel! You're still eating that thing? Either stop now before you die of over-eating or at least save a bite or 2 for me!"_

_"I only ate 10 pounds," Hansel defended himself, sitting on the chair next to the now-misshapen chocolate, "Where would you have stopped?" He then noticed that the chair he was sitting on was composed of Kit-Kats, Whoppers, and M & M's._

_"About 2 pounds ago, at least," said Gretel, "Now we have to get out of her before...stop eating your chair, Hansel!"_

_Hansel looked up at her, his teeth still in the armrest. "But it's so good!"_

_Gretel groaned in frustration. "There's gotta be something healthy to eat in here." She opened the pantry to reveal a pie with a head sticking out of it _(Nadine)_._

_"Hey there," the pie said._

_Gretel screamed in fright. "There's a head in the pie!"_

_Hansel walked over to see it. "I don't know, she is a cutie-pie."_

_The pie laughed. "Don't make me laugh, I have to warn you about something. You 2 are in trouble. The woman who lives here is a Witch who fattens kids up and bakes them into pie."_

_"That's it!" Gretel said, "It all makes sense now. we have to get out of here and run far away!" She led Hansel over to the door, but they stopped walking when they heard a cackling. "The Witch is coming back!" She pushed Hansel back into the house. "Maybe we can still get out the back before--"_

_"Before what?" asked the Witch, coming in._

_"Nothing!" Hansel and Gretel denied in unison._

_The Witch saw the pantry open and gasped, running over to it._

_"Hello..." the pie said._

_The Witch turned back to Hansel and Gretel, an angry look on her face. "Have you 2 been snooping in my pantry?"_

_Gretel started laughing. "What talking pie?"_

_"You know you really shouldn't be baking kids," Hansel said, "That is sick and wrong!"_

_"I can't stop!" the Witch said, "It's my only joy in life!"_

_"No wonder she's single," said Gretel._

_"What'd you say?" the Witch asked, angrily._

_"Nothing!" Gretel defended, "I was just saying that..." She picked up the chair Hansel had been eating and threw it at the Witch, knocking her back so far that the pie could get close enough the bite her arm._

_"Biting people isn't nice!" the Witch scolded._

_"Says the woman who baked me into a pie!" the pie said._

_Hansel opened the oven and Gretel shoved the Witch into it. When they were sure they were safe, they grabbed the pie and ran._

_"Hey! Put me down!" the pie commanded, "I'm fragile! Very fragile!"_

_A couple hours after the kids left, the Witch zapped the oven open and walked out, coughing. Her clothes were scorched and torn and her hat was so lopsided that it would have fallen off if her long, pointy ears hadn't been holding it up. "I suddenly hate kids."_

Kelly and Ryan slowly woke up from their peaceful sleep and smiled at each other, knowing that they had both dreamed the same thing.


	3. 3 Little Pigs: Nadine, Benny, and Lucy

Chapter 3: 3 Little Pigs

Nadine, Benny, and Lucy Bunny were lying peacefully in their beds, also sharing dreams:

_Nadine, Benny, and Lucy walked through a forest._

_"Why do we have to build our own houses now?" asked Benny, "Why can't we just buy that nice condo we checked out. 3 bedrooms, 2 and a half bath..."_

_"I know, I liked it, too," said Lucy, "But Nadine is in charge."_

_"And I think that building houses would be good for us as long as we can find a nice spot that isn't taken and the realtor recommended this lot for us," Nadine explained._

_"And it just so happened to be on the other side of the forest where we couldn't follow him around begging for a decent house," said Benny, "What're the odds of that?"_

_Nadine brushed away a branch on the next tree. "This is it." Sure enough, there was now an empty clearing big enough for 3 houses. "Well, let's get to building." She whistled and a dump truck backed into the lot and dumped thousands of sticks, bricks, and hays on top of the 3 rabbits. "This is going to take a while."_

_* * *_

_Later, a wolf _(Tech, perhaps?)_ was strolling through the forest. "No real meat in 3 days. If I eat another robin, I'm going to explode." His stomach started rumbling. "Oh, I've got to find something to eat!" He sniffed and his expression changed to interest. He sniffed again and looked around, crawling off in the direction of the clearing. He hid behind a bush and looked into the clearing to see the 3 bunnies finishing their houses._

_"Finally," Benny said, dropping his hammer, "Nailing sticks together is a lot more work than you'd expect and I can't believe I just said that."_

_"Tell me about it," said Lucy, "So much straw...so much straw...what's the difference between straw and hay anyway?"_

_"I think it's the same thing," said Benny, "Which means we can eat your house when it's foundation crumbles! Which, I have a feeling, is probably going to be soon."_

_"Look who's talking, stick boy!" Lucy said._

_"Were you 2 so lazy after all that looking at condos that you really didn't want to put in the effort to build your houses out of something stronger?" asked Nadine._

_"Yep," said Lucy._

_"Pretty much," Benny said._

_Nadine groaned. "I, for one , actually made my house out of something that's going to hold up in 5 mile per hour winds! Good night!" She walked into the house and slammed the door behind her._

_Lucy and Benny looked at each other, shrugged, and went into their individual houses._

_The wolf thought for a second. "Am I really going to stoop so low as to eat teenage rabbits? Of course, I am!" He stood up, went over to Lucy's house, and knocked on the door._

_"Who is it?" Lucy called from inside._

_"Uh..." the wolf quickly thought up an excuse, "Telegram?"_

_"Oh, I'm not falling for that old trick!"_

_"Fine, then I'll knock the door down!" He kicked the door and howled in pain, jumping up and down grasping his foot. "OK...I'll blow your house down!" He took in a deep breath and...started panting. "Asthmatic wolf trying to blow down a house...not my best idea. New plan..." He pulled out one of the straw stems surrounding the door. The rest of the house fell down so that it was just a pile of straw circling around the interior of a house._

_"Huh," Lucy said, "I guess Nadine was right about that 5 mile per hour wind. In that case, I RUN!" She ran off to Benny's house, the wolf following closely behind her. She opened her brother's door, went through it into the house, and closed the door behind her, making the wolf slam into the wood._

_The wolf bounced back, howling in pain again. "Splinter."_

_"Benny, you got to hide--"_

_"OK." Benny turned invisible._

_"--ME! Hide ME!"_

_Benny turned visible again. "Sorry. Habit."_

_A pounding sounded at the door, followed by a loud, "Let me in!"_

_"Not going to happen!" Benny yelled. He turned to his sister. "Lucy, get a field around the place."_

_Lucy scoffed. "Why didn't I think of that back at my place?" she held out her hands, but, before she could cast her field out, the sticks fell down. The 2 rabbits turned around to see the wolf holding up a single nail. "You've got to be kidding me."_

_"I suggest we RUN!" Benny yelled, leading his sister off to Nadine's house. The rabbits started pounding on their older sister's door._

_Nadine opened the door. "What is it? I'm trying to get some sleep here!"_

_"There's a wolf after us and you're worried about getting some sleep?" Lucy asked._

_"A wolf?" Nadine asked, not believing them until she saw the fear in her sister's eyes._

_"Yeah, he knocked both our houses down," said Benny._

_Nadine groaned. "Didn't I warn you that if you didn't make your houses out of something stronger than sticks and hay a wolf was going to come along and knock them down in an attempt to eat you, knowing that you'd be vulnerable?"_

_"No," Lucy and Benny said at the same time._

_"Huh, you'd think it's be obvious," Nadine said. She let her brother and sister into her house._

_The wolf stomped over to the door and pounded on it. "Little rabbits, little rabbits, let me in!"_

_"1, no," said Nadine, "2..."_

_"THAT'S BUNNIES!" all 3 siblings said at the same time._

_"Fine!" said the wolf. He tried to take out a brick, but they were all held together by the cement. He kept pulling and pulling, but it wouldn't come out. "Fine." He tried to used his magnetic levitation powers on the house, but nothing on it was made of metal. "Oh, I give up!" He walked off, sulking. "Guess I'll be eating birds for a while until some pigs come along and build their houses out of straw and sticks and bricks and I can't knock them down."_

Nadine, Benny, and Lucy all woke up. "What a dream," they all said at the same time. They looked at each other, realized what had happened and laughed.


	4. Snow White: Sarah and Michael

Chapter 4: Snow White

Sarah and Michael were lying in bed asleep as well. They were still dreaming unlike their brother and sister, but Ryan and Kelly didn't dare disturb them.

_The young Witch _(Daniella or Lexi, your call)_ stood next to her mirror in the middle of the woods. "Mirror, mirror on the stand, who's the fairest in the land?"_

_Someone appeared in the mirror _(Ace, I suppose)_ appeared. "You, of course. As always: Duh."_

_The Witch smiled. "Thanks. That really helps the self esteem."_

_"Hang on a second..." the mirror said, "That girl over there..." He pointed behind her._

_The Witch turned around to see Snow White _(Sarah, of course)_ in the bushes, singing to the birds. "Her?"_

_"Yeah, her," said the mirror, "She's prettier than you."_

_The Witch gasped, offended. "Oh, she's got to go." She turned and saw a hunter _(Michael)_. "Oh, hunter!"_

_The hunter turned to face her and walked over to her. "Yes, my queen?" (Yes, the Witch is the queen)_

_"I need you to get rid of a girl for me," said the queen, "That girl over there." She pointed to Snow White._

_The hunter turned to face her. "Her?"_

_"Yep."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yep."  
_

_"Why?"_

_"Because...Oh, just do your job!"_

_The hunter went over to Snow White and tapped her on the shoulder to make her turn around to face him. "Hey, sis."_

_"Oh, hey, Michael."_

_"Look, the queen wants you dead."_

_"What?! Why?"_

_"I don't know, but you need to pretend to be dead."_

_Snow White pretended to gag and faint._

_"Oh, that's good!"_

_"Thanks!"_

_"But I was thinking more of the 'running away and hiding' sort of thing."_

_Snow White ran off. "Thanks, Mikey!"_

_"Don't call me that!" Michael went off back to the queen. "OK, she's dead."_

_"Good," said the queen, "Now LEAVE!"_

Michael woke up and saw Sarah still asleep and knew what had happened. He got up quietly and went off to check on his family, leaving Sarah the only one left sleeping in the Coyote clan.

_Snow White walked into a cottage. "Oh, good, no one's here."_

_Just then, 7 dwarves stood up. Snow screamed. The dwarves screamed._

_"Who are you?" asked Snow White._

_"You-first," said one of the dwarves._

_"Snow W-I mean Sarah White," said Snow._

_"I'm-Happy," said the one who had spoken (Rev, obviously)._

_"I'm Doc," said another (Duck)._

_"No, I'm Doc," said (Tech), "You're Sneezy."_

_"I'm Bashful," said (Benny), "And you're cute." Snow blushed._

_"I'm Grumpy," said (Jack)._

_"I'm Dopey, unfortunately," said (Robert)._

_"I'm Sleepy," said (Ryan)._

_"So, uh..." Snow said, "I was going to stay here with you guys, but I see that this...lovely cabin is occupied." She turned around to leave._

_"Wait, you can stay here," said Sneezy, "Maybe if you do some cleaning...a little cooking, perhaps."_

_Snow turned around to face them and scoffed. "What do I look like?" she asked, crossing her arms at them, "The maid?"_

_"You will when you wear the little outfit," said Grumpy, holding up a black dress with a white apron._

_* * *_

_The queen stood in front of the mirror. "Mirror, mirror on the stand, NOW who's the fairest in the land?"_

_"OK, OK...it's Snow White." The queen gasped, offended. "She's still alive and staying with some dwarves down the road."_

_The queen stomped her foot on the forest floor in frustration. "That hunter tricked me!"_

_"I guess I should have warned you that he's her brother," said the mirror._

_"Yeah, you should have!" the queen complained, "I'll have to find my own way to deal with this brat!" She thought for a few seconds, pacing. "I know..." She grabbed a basket and ran off._

_* * *_

_Snow White was still dusting. She had finally talked Sneezy and Grumpy out of the silly outfit (with some help from Bashful) and was simply in her normal dress._

_"Hi ho...hi ho," sang Sneezy as he came in with the other dwarves, all of them carrying pickaxes, "...it's off to--"_

_"What'd we say about the song?" asked Doc, interrupting._

_"Right, sorry."_

_"Later, Sarah," said Bashful as they all walked out._

_After the dwarves were all gone, the queen came up in a wig. "Excuse me, dear..."_

_Snow turned around. "And who are you?"_

_"No one! Just a bitter old woman who lives in the neighborhood."_

_"You, uh, look a little young to me."_

_"I had a lot of work done. I just thought I'd give you an apple while I'm here." She picked an apple out of her basket and gave it to her._

_Snow sniffed it. "This is plastic."_

_"Huh?" The queen looked at the apple. "Whoops. Wrong one." She threw it over her shoulder and out the door. "Uh, try this one."_

_"Still plastic."_

_They kept going through the apples until finally Snow stopped her._

_"OK, this one is normal," said Snow White, taking it. She bit into and fell to the ground, unconscious._

_"Now, that is more like it." The queen picked up the apple. "My best plan yet." She took off the wig and left the cabin, cackling madly._

_The dwarves came back in about an hour later._

_"Whoa!" Grumpy said when he noticed Snow lying unconscious on the floor, "She passed out!"_

_Sleepy went over to her. "No, I pass out all the time. This isn't it. She was poisoned."_

_"Alright, you guys go off and search the cabin," said Bashful, "See what poisoned her. I'll try to wake her up." The 6 other dwarves scattered, leaving Bashful alone with Snow White. He started to poke at her with his foot. "Come on..." He started to shake her back and forth. "Wake up!" He sat down next to her. "Please let this work..." He kissed her._

_Her eyes fluttered open. "What happened?"_

_"Hey, guys, she's up!"_

_* * *_

_The queen came up to the mirror, laid down her wig and basket, and straightened out her dress. "Now...Mirror, mirror on the stand, don't make me grind you into sand!"_

_"You're the fairest," said the mirror, "No contest. You're hot!"_

_"Thanks!" the queen said, "I try to take care of myself. Exercise, eat lots of fruits and veggies..." She picked up the poison apple and bit into it and then realized her mistake. "Uh oh." She fainted, dropping the apple next to her._

_"I love a happy ending," said the mirror._

Sarah then woke up. "I think I want to go back to sleep." She looked at the clock. "Noon already?" She shrugged. "At least, they didn't wake me up. I was liking that dream."


	5. Princess and the Pea: Robert

Chapter 5: Princess and the Pea

Robert Runner lie, sleeping in bed, the last to wake up. He was still dreaming:

_Robert was the prince of the land. His mother, Daniella, was always on him to get a girlfriend, but both his parents insisted that she be a princess. One problem: do you know how hard it is to find a decent girl who is also a princess? It's incredibly grueling work, you know!_

_One day, a girl knocked on the castle door. Rev sped over to it and answered. It was a rabbit anthro girl _(Nadine, of course)_. "Hey, I've come to meet the prince."_

_Robert groaned. This was going to take a while. This girl seemed fairly decent, but on the way out she scorched Robert's tail._

_"Sorry!" the bunny said, "I have some trouble controlling my power sometimes." No princess was this clumsy. And if she was a princess, he wasn't going to put up with this every day! He sent her off._

_More girls came the next few days. None of them were any good._

_One day, though, it started raining and another rabbit anthro _(this one's Lucy)_ came knocking on the door, wrapped in a parka and shivering from the coldness of the wetness encompassing her. "Please, let me in," she said to Daniella when she answered the door, "It's cold and wet and this parka is kind of tight!"_

_"Sure, come in," said Daniella, opening the door all the way._

_"Mom, that better not be another--" Robert came into the kitchen to see the new girl take off the parka and shake the water out of her hair. He fell backwards, phasing right through the table and landing on the floor. "Ow."_

_"You should have said you were going to fall," said the new girl, "I could have put a field around you." She held out her hand and a glowing force field appeared around the table._

_Robert phased back through the table and rubbed his head as he stood up. She wasn't freaked out by his powers? She had powers of her own? She must be a princess. "It's OK. I'm good." He gave his mother a look to let her know what he was thinking._

_Later, after they had agreed that the new girl should spend the night, Daniella snuck into the girl's new room and pointed at the bed. 17 mattresses appeared on top of the first one. She took out a single pea and put it under the bottom mattress. Only a princess, mutant or not, would be delicate enough to feel a single lump like that under all those mattresses. She left the room._

_About an hour after that, the new girl came into the room in her pajamas and saw the bed. "Whoa! How on earth am I supposed to get up there?" She noticed a ladder leaning against the tower of mattresses and put her hand around one rung. It broke. "Well, if any vampires come along, I have a stake." She dropped the stake, formed a field around herself, and lifted herself up to the top mattress. She got under the covers, read for a while, and...tossed and turned all night. She got up after the sun rose. She hadn't gotten any sleep all night. "What is...Hold on." She formed a field under the bottom mattress and pulled the pea out. "What in the--?" She grabbed the pea. "How did this get under there?" She held out her hand and a bunch of plants formed a ladder for her to walk down to get to the floor and out the door to the kitchen. "Who was dumb enough to put a pea under those mattresses? I didn't get any sleep last night!"_

_Daniella laughed, nervously. "I'll take that." She took the pea back. "Thanks for staying with us. You want to marry Robert?"_

_"I'll take her!" Robert said._

_The princess smiled. "Will you make sure your mom doesn't put another pea under my bed?"_

_Daniella scoffed and laughed at the same time. "About that..." She then ran out of the room._

_"She's-better-when-you-get-to-know-her," Rev said._

_"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say," said the princess._

_The 2 kids got married after a year or 2 and lived happily ever after. Of course, that's how all fairy tales end, isn't it?_

Robert woke up. "Hmm...Does this mean something?"

**THE END**


End file.
